Thinking...

Sitting here, 11pm and thinking that in the morning it will have been one week since the transfer... Crazy.

I've read some message boards, tried to find symptoms, blah blah. Honestly, I know that we're in a "it is what it is" situation, but whew, it's hard.

Had a total meltdown last night. Yep. Couldn't relax. Started shaking and then bam, unrelenting tears. Sobs that made my shoulders shake. My hubby was as always, amazing. Telling me to talk through it, scratching my back, repeating over and over how much he loves me.

Man, I was freaking out. It all comes down to this one moment and no matter what there is nothing I can do to affect the outcome.

I just want to know. Seriously.
I'm not this patient.

My mom says its a test for me to learn patience.

Well, I fail.